Aita for giving my athlete son an allowance and not my daughter tik My younger sister used to live nearby, and our daughters (mine is 6, hers is 7) went to the same ballet school for a little over a year. I gave my daughter $200 in spending money and my son got $325. After your grandfather’s passing you must have felt abandoned again, which made you vulnerable. Few minutes later my step mom came into my room and demanded that I give my step sister some of my money. allaboutit): “AITA for taking my daughters room away and giving it to my son part 2 #Reddit #reddittiktok AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. Teach them how to save while still letting them feel like they arent losing anything. colleagues etc say oh my baby will be named XYZ I just say oh how lovely because it’s the polite thing to do. Apparently, my son was rubbing it in their daughter’s face that their grandparents love him more. E. I didn’t like that idea but she begged. The total includes a car loan. EDIT: My wife is Kayla’s biological mother, since people keep assuming she’s her step-mom. My mom decided a “compromise” was to have him sign an agreement of his duties and our expectations for the shared living space, as well as what we all would be contributing to the household finances. Wife and I got into a fight and I am now sleeping in the guest bedroom. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. So, for Christmas we gave her $4000. If you were my daughter this is the advice I would give you. My husband and I talked to my son and he said "we'll see". I didn't dump my son on anyone in my family (not that they would have allowed that to happen. He considered a gap year but I pointed out that 2 of his scholarships and one state grant are exclusively for graduating high school seniors. Its not mine, its my grandpa's. AITA for not giving my fiancés daughter money when I won the lottery? Not the A-hole All names have been changed. She had good grades and was very responsible with money. Sometimes I am conflicted too. No allowance, no money for chores. I need opinions from outside the family. So when she asked if I got the funds I denied it. #askreddi #redditreadings #redditsstories #reddit | TikTok. First we have that one guy who calls himself “Caring Father”, and who also wouldn’t let his son go trick-o-treating because he got one answer—one answer—on a spelling test wrong. You are misrepresenting the situation. The control NOT to go to work. Holy crap. He's never lacked for spending money, and I didn't give him ANY. If he's dedicated to not giving his child an allowance he needs to man up and tell his son honestly that he is the reason for that, not try to alter the rules for your kids. Relatives think I am an asshole for not supporting my daughter's dream of becoming an elite gymnast. My kids don’t have set allowances, they’re 16 year olds twins, and they’re mostly expected to work for any extra money they want by doing chores or getting jobs. Even AITD is calling BS on this one XD - the only thing I can't tell is whether it's meant to be ragebait, or whether OP was trying to make a sympathetic character and failed. I give her the weekends to herself considering those are my days off. I ended up taking her to the doctors so he could stay home to eat dinner with my son. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. You and your husband should move to the living room. . I have always thought of Josie as my own daughter, so when they divorced 7 years ago due to my son cheating, I was conflicted and disappointed. She treasures her money a lot. ) We have been married for 8 years and have a 12 yo son together. Yesterday, my son Jon (M10) told me that Vienna paid her friend to tear up his painting. About 6 years ago, my wife decided to go vegan. My sister is very kind & gullible at times, so she called me and said the least I could do was give her an allowance for the chores I make her do. Thankfully my husband is not a mama or daddy's boy and is also a good father. My nephew told me and I immediately called my son, he confirmed it. He needs to be humbled. I . They broke up several months ago, but he really hurt her feelings by cheating on her and then dumping her. My short term debt (including cars) would make many people pass out. My ex and his wife found out and are now pissed at me. More-Direction-8745 OP. His excuse was they had a deadbeat dad. And the pet should not suffer so you can teach your child a lesson by giving the pet away. No child My son is now 16 and my daughter is 18. I have two houses. He needs to realize how doing this can hurt his daughter. That I favor my son because he's a man and an athlete. If they do need some extra Despite being 15 he is still a child. Fast forward, my daughter is 12 now and I already have a boyfriend of 7 years. I just ran out of it this year after being abroad for a year for schooling, a year back in my home country trying (and failing) to get a job, and going back to school. (Disabled younger sibling, my aunty died suddenly so my cousin's came to life with us, mum worked night shifts when us older kids were home to watch the smalls, and then cleaned houses in the daytime etc) Thankfully I'm in Australia so was able to defer my fees (interest free) and also get govt student allowance, as well as working. I did this because she is old enough to earn her own pocket money by getting a job or babysitting for anyone in the family. The way it works here in my country (at least this trust fund) is that it was for a fixed amount of time, let's just say 5 years, within those 5 years you can't touch the money in them you can put more money, but you can't take out anything until the time is up, for this trust fund it was set to be 18 years of investments, after those 18 years Let her have her room, move temporary to the bedroom beside the nursery or have him in your room for a while. The situation here is that my son cheated on his last girlfriend. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Was I the asshole for telling my wife she should go back to work after 5 years of not working and forcing me to work so many extra shifts just to keep up with expenses I had my oldest at 16 and his dad disappeared into the void. i just graduated and found a job recently. It's unfortunate that my first wife got hurt by me for leaving her and the children alone and The principal wanted my daughter to give an apology to her. She wanted their advice on her 23K votes, 1. My older daughter thinks this is unfair since her sister gets higher grades and thinks it is punishing her. Now we have this clown who chooses his young wife over his daughter, proceeds to I made my older daughter share a room with her younger sister. I am privileged enough to not have had to worry about my child going hungry. Amber does not have kids, but she has a dog and a cat she loves. Op's daughter sounds like she is doing better than I was (I didn't get a college degree until I was 30) yet she is selfish enough to abandon her child. She does not need to enjoy what the son enjoys. I don't let my son have any/much junk food at all and usually he brings his own snacks (for this incident it was carrot sticks and ranch) to events that have a lot of sugary foods. So I agreed. I (55m)have two kids, Ana (30f) and Alex (27m). OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Keeping my daughter on a very short leash when it comes to my money, and my response to her originally spending all that money in a short amount of time. I'll be damned if I'm giving away any of my time off to anyone else. Man how fucked off are these ppl to do that to their children. My MIL started giving her drug addicted daughter and grandson (70 and 49) money as they can’t live within their means. Some of the pupils had dreadfully shabby clothes and holes in their shoes so the teachers would club together to but them clothes and shoes expecting them to come back dressed in 8. I got my first job at 15 and my parents still gave me money sometimes if I asked. Sep 5, 2023 Chaitra Krishnamurthy Tue 5 September 2023 10:47, UK An ‘AITA for giving my athlete son an allowance’ has prompted Reddit users to call out the father for ill-treating a girl whom he. Now for context, my daughter met this woman online, and they’ve never 21yo brother landed across the ocean in my studio apartment, not knowing how to take care of himself, not even how to make some food. AITA for asking my son and daughter inlaw for a copy of the key to the new house they bought? Asshole 2 weeks ago my son [Ethan, 27]and his wife [Jess, 30] bought a small one story house in the town we live in. , which I agreed to. Obviously they thought the entire thing was nuts and it was dismissed but grandparents can become outrageous when they don't get their way. She attends college about 30 minutes away and borrows my wife's car or gets a ride from a friend. He has a daughter Ashley 14 from a previous relationship. I told her sorry, but no I will not buy that car for you. OP said "No Mitzvah, therefore not Mitzvah money", she acted entitled AND ONLY AFTER she was acting out OP also dropped the allowance to showcase that 1. He already gives him a hearty allowance, and if the son wants to do more for his best friend he could go get a part time job if he wants to add more money to what he’s giving to the friend and baby. Any other money, they This one's was set for a fixed amount of 18 years. To be frank, my dad is a complete asshole. I unfortunately do know what it is like to be a kid struggling with food insecurity. I feel like that’s going to go over extremely poorly since he is 15 and I am basically saying he do #askreddi #redditreadings #redditsstories #reddit | TikTok. It’s your life choices that are preventing your kids from having a healthy amount of room to help them develop a sense of individuality and autonomy. My mom used to give us allowance but we had to pay for our own fast food/takeout, snacks, activities with friends, etc. AITA for giving my son non-vegan food behind my wife's back? Not the A-hole POO Mode I am (32M) and my wife is (33F. We know that moving into a new home always comes with unexpected costs, right after you've probably depleted most of your funds. But I do my best. If you had given her more money or bought the candy for her, that would have negated the opportunity you had to teach her via natural consequences, and what she The punishment clearly is designed to set up the siblings AGAINST each other, and the quiz is absurd. I get 15 days off. He earned his money, and has since early high school. If she doesn't want to give extra money or cook extra food then she needs to teach him time management, money management and meal prep. It's nice if it happens on the side, but you don't get a pet just for that. Not being able to feed my kid is a huge fear. My daughter Sam (14f) said she wishes she never knew the truth and is deeply upset. This all led to constant arguments initiated by her. | AITA Shine | AITA Shine · Original audio I informed her a few months ago that I would stop giving her an allowance when she turned 16. But I also felt like my daughter should not have to split her generational wealth. He was flawed, and he let my parents abuse me by not stepping in (which I am trying to process). Dreams of not working until 75 and dropping dead at work! People who go on sabbatical to write a specific academic research book are full-time busy. My son had a job so he paid for his own, my daughter has yet to get a job because her therapist claims she cant handle one due to her mental conditions. It's not fair to your partner who also has dreams. Judgement_Bot_AITA • This means that they gave their daughter this name with the INTENTION that OP would "lose the name" as a result and not name his future daughter this highly personal meaningful name as a result. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or First off, my wife has been doing great. AITA for giving my daughter’s pets “grandchildren” gifts and offending my son in the process? Not the A-hole I’d hoped to be done with the burden of young children. She told her grandparents (maternal) and uncles (paternal, my brothers) and now they're are telling me that I'm an asshole for not giving my daughter something as simple as a room. They gave my sister her share and told me if I went to grad school by the time I turned 25 they'd give me my share. true. My niece (I'll call her "Tessa") got into ballet first, and she was the one who got my daughter (I'll call her "Emily") interested as well. It was not a very substantial amount of extra money. I told her that her kid is a brat and she should learn how to behave in class. I53f have a 26 year old son Ace. I explained why I felt that wasn't necessary and she told me not to compare my situation to my Daughter's since apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then which I guess is a fair Wow, second time today I’m commenting on the irony of the username a trash dad picked for himself. My mom was miserable with him and, to be honest, she’s better off without him. Ace is married to his wife Julia, and they recently had a daughter. I absolutely adore my niece, and I'm looking forward to meet my nephew one of these days. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: Confident-Ear-9728 on Reddit (link removed at "AITA for not giving my son money from my daughter's savings?" My (56F) daughter (29F) still lives at home. I still help her with our child when I get off from work. AITA for giving my daughter $100k for a house and not giving my son anything? I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. It's not a fun conversation to have but I explain to my daughter about what we do and don't have money for when she wants something I am not willing/able to buy her. I told her no and that it was given to me by my TRUE mother. Which is fine, they don't need to give me anything, I'm not entitled to it. Seriously. 37K uses, 25 templates – We are excited to introduce the “update aita for giving my athlete son allowance and not my AITA for sending my daughter to live with her father? I divorced my ex when Lana (15f) was small. She got the money from saving up allowance, running errands for neighbours and selling homemade jewelry. I’ve four kids (18f,14m,12m,) who are biologically mine and my step daughter (17f) I’ve been in my step daughters life since she was 6 years old I see her as a daughter I swore I’d never be like my step father and treat a child differently Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I take care of my younger sister and made similar mistakes for 2 years. Laura came home crying the other day because Emily came back with food from her favourite restaurant and didn't give her anything or offer to share so I called my ex and told him that he needs to stop giving Emily lunch money and have her make her own lunches because she was hurting Laura. The promise you agreed on was supporting her housing. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: We told our son he was not allowed to go to the 7th grade dance after he destroyed his sister's dress because he was mad at her racist behavior, which we condemned Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Scholarships can be lost because of external things, not even just daughter not getting expected grades or changing schools (funding can fall thru, some scholarships are only for first year and not future years). OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I am charging my adult daughter rent 2) My in-laws and daughter's friend say that my adult daughter is still my child and it is not right to expect rent on top of multiple I asked my oldest sister and she said that my grandma was apparently offended and thought we were mocking her. I jokingly call them “the grandpuppies” and though I know it’s silly, I get them A few months ago, our son was at a party with his friends from baseball, and they were sharing tiktoks with each other, one of the boys shared a tik tok about an “almost name” (basically, like it sounds, what your parents almost named you), one of my son’s friends asked about my son’s names and he mentioned who he was named after. Redditor u/Spiritual_Alps3413, who recently lost her husband, went viral on the AITA community after asking for everyone’s take on her sensitive situation at home. 7K comments. I found it I gave my daughter a house by not my sons. This started the mom telling me her daughter needs an apology. 4577 Likes, 153 Comments. I took my son (an infant) with me to my GED classes. There are plenty of jobs around the area, so that is not an issue. This is coming from a former junkie. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I told my ex's daughter that I am not her aunt or her other mom after spending some time trying to avoid that conversation and trying to make my ex have it. NTA! You are not an A**hole, but think it like this, a bike will get him into physical activity and will keep him occupied for a long time, he will be more confident and will have more fun. AITA for giving my son more money for class trip then daughter Asshole Me and my husband have 7 kids (17f, 16m, 14f, 13m and 13f, 11f and 10m). So if I'm sick, it comes out of my vacation. She needs to not be racist. His girlfriend said I wouldn’t be able to see the baby. The problem started last weekend when my son asked to bring his wife and kids to the pool for the day on Saturday, I said of course. Your daughter knows this and was giving an accurate assessment and was trying to support you in talking to your son. TikTok video from Blank (@reddit. i promised my mom that i will be giving her a monthly allowance (fam tradition) once i receive my monthly salary. My daughter turned 16th on March 13th, the start of lockdown for us. I had a vasectomy to ensure we wouldn't have more children. My daughters are from my first marriage, Jacob is my husband's son. I'm no longer with him since he was a giant mama's boy himself. She was AITA for not giving my daughter and allowance after her 16th birthday like I promised? SearchSenior6144 writes: This is about my middle daughter, Kara. AITA for giving my son (25M) a house instead of my daughter. If you think your wife is not at a disadvantage you are more delusional than your son. I want to give into my daughter but also think I shouldn't. My(28m) wife(24) has a very strong bond with her family. My son (24m) is my child from a previous relationship before I met / married my late wife. Mary was always the responsible one. Subreddit Announcements Happy Anniversary, AITA! The grand kids in my family got 100k, and my sister blew through it in about 6 months. NTA. You fulfilled that promise by giving her a place to live. UPDATE 2: My wife and I are discussing our daughter's response and our next actions to resolve this situation. She's keeping the only form of financial control she has. It just made me very self-conscious about myself. On the one hand, AITA loves its shitty and unfair parent villains; on the other hand, "I'm a stern father figure who demands respect and hard work, AITA for punishing my vapid and lazy teenage So I see where he’s coming from. I am a retired teacher and the school I worked in had a special needs dept. I can for sure ruing someone's life and can have serious consequences for the person bullying that's why i took this action teaching him a valuable lesson in my opinion whit this and i thing he understood it and won't do it again. he and his wife lied then hid the date of birth from the family. My daughter is also in college, and thanks to my low income, it’s affordable and we were able to put her in the dorm with a full meal plan for less than it would cost for rent. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ Leía said it was fine and asked us if she could turn the basement into her room. The coach rules the team, not the parents. Also, in some twin sets (like mine) you have a dominant twin and a submissive twin, with the former (like A) normally speaking for the two and being a leader, a pattern that B might feel locked into. An 'allowance'?. After a while I met my husband, who had a son (17m) from a previous marriage and we had a baby (2f) together. She looks as happy as the day we found out we were having a kid. I told them no and that we are leaving. Until then, we had 50/50 custody, but Sandra has always been less "strict" than me. Gave them an allowance and the opportunity to invest and save. You can't predict the future. I was able to get my daughter from my mom and I take care of her now. If he’s really happy to transfer her money for what she needs in regards to creams and salon treatments. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I think that I shouldn’t give her a chance, because she used me and has turned out to be like her mother in many ways, but I did raise her, and I do believe in second "I'm sorry I was abusive. 5. That if she wasnt annoying as all hell my daughter wouldn’t have snapped after 5 months. My dad did this with my oldest sister's kids. A while back, I made a deal with my son to transfer the house over to him. " Then, the second part of an apology: Identify the reason you did what you did. Being a victim of bullying can ruin your life. I got a full ride. The other day, I come home from work and find Kayla upset, my wife in a mood and our son, Martin, (15) looking pleased. My reasoning for saying this is simple. AITA for giving my son a car and not my step-daughter? TLDR: My daughter is more like me (a geek). 16 years ago my son Matthew had a daughter with his now ex wife Josie. I have both ADHD and bipolar 1, and had my son when I was barely 20. She was sent the documentary Dominion by a vegan friend of hers and ever since has said nonvegan food is "revolting Both my son and his girlfriend were upset with this. AITA for not giving my step son a car until he calmed down? I don't think I am because I just wanted him to call down first before we have it to him. I told her that I wouldn't be giving her any of my funds, and that it's not my fault she chose to get married when she and her fiancé has low income and that she has no right to my allowance. My (33f) house repayments have tripled in the last 18 months and even with a dual income household, my husband (34m) and I are struggling to keep up. Kevin is a great student, and a great athlete, has goals and works hard for them. My first born was a boy and my daughter, born 4 years later, wore a lot of his old clothes. We were done with children. My father (who also got an inheritance) plans on making sure my kids (I am an only child) also gets a home each. Not only that they’re skipping passed integral emotional lessons in order to “make it I give them a monthly allowance of 3k each, 6k total. My (48M) daughter (21F), Aria, abandoned us (her stepmother, younger half-sister and me) when she was 15 to go live with my enabling ex-wife, Sandra, and her husband. I think that she's a spoiled brat and it would actually be unfair to my son to buy her a car on top of everything else I'm doing for her. I'd guess that was a substantial portion of the debt. You’re not an AH for not wanting to give your son an allowance, it’s your prerogative. Not defending the wife, just answering the implied question. That being said, this is exactly why OP needs to stand his ground and not just give more money to his son. What the daughter NEEDS is to learn to be accepting of different cultures and races. Last month her both parents moved to live with her brothers in Australia and she's been feeling very down since then. I said that previously I had trusted them, but since you didn’t trust us we wouldn’t trust them. Watching how my step-dad treats her and comparing it to the way I remember my dad behaving, it’s not hard to realize why she did what she did. 37K uses, 25 templates – We are excited to introduce the “update aita for giving my athlete son allowance AITA Shine · Original audio AITA for sticking to my word and not giving my daughter an allowance after her 16 birthday. it’s Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. So, Me (45M) and my wife (43F) have two kids. OP did not say "No Mitzvah, therefore no Mitzvah money + no allowance". We were childhood sweethearts who married out of high school and had two kids together. Tell that nasty woman to get bent. I have two kids, one daughter (23F) and one som (25M). My older sister is also contributing, but the sum is unknown by me. Edit: thanks for my first award!!! My daughter thinks I'm being incredibly unfair. Sending money 4 or 5 times a week when there is no emergency is not helpful for the daughter and, is not helping his home life either. She sent back more text messages calling me an AH and told my wife. Your son and daughter’s quality of life needs to be a priority. In our house, we give our kids an allowance (each get the same amount) and they can do more by doing chores. I've stopped trying with my children. She said she’s not coming to the party in a few weeks to meet my daughter in person and that she’s not giving the baby quilt to us unless we apologize and change our daughters name. First off, hello, and thank you all for the support! I've been getting quite a few DMs checking up on me and my daughter, asking for an update, and just genuine kindness. Read this before contacting the mod team. I went to my doctor who confirmed I could not have gotten her My grandpa died almost 9 years ago. I may not make too much money but at least I have a home. So, his parents called me and asked if they could see my son when he was with me to give him his gifts and if I would let them continue to pay for his school. Koi worked at an arcade and told the girls he could get them jobs. I also said that how's about she give her daughter some money since she's the mother and cares so much about her child not having money. They are submitting drafts and doing research. AITA For NOT Giving My Wife An Allowance Every Month? (r/aita)In today's story, OP wants his Wife to be a stay at home Wife but not give her an allowance, is he right? Plus 4 other stories. 569. We got home at 9ish after two CVS didn't have the medicine. Give my son’s school a nice donation in repayment for the tuition breaks That's how I managed to have some money should I need or buy things I wanted. 4K comments. She's your WIFE, not My (f48) children Leah (f26) and Kevin (m21) are complete opposites. My mother didn’t give me an allowance either as money was tight in a single family household so at 12 i started working outside the home to make my own money. my son had a 4. YTA. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Equal money set aside to partially pay for college for me and my sister. Agreed. To which she reacted that she logged into my university account and saw that I have recieved the funds. I did not go to grad school by then so they paid off her remaining student loans (she did pay a few years of interest/balance). You should apologize to your daughter. After I got in 2 car accidents, completely my fault and I paid for the repairs after getting a job for the second one, I dropped to 20/month with the other 180 going to car insurance. 11K votes, 2. Unlike my son, my daughter never really had a hobby or anything. I'd rather be sick and withdrawing than take from or not provide for my child. My daughter was nervous about living on her own and after college she asked if she can come back home until she ok I’ll sit down with him tonight and show him how to pack a breakfast. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I think I might be the asshole because, instead of trying to communicate more effectively, I gave my wife an ultimatum to try to get my way and weaponized my AITA for leaving my daughter? AITA for not just letting my husband take care of her? AITA for not taking care of her? *My husband called me back after 40 minutes. Not to excuse it, in ANY way, but as a sign that you understand where you went wrong. However, in the past few years, she’s had a few interests that she would give up on AITA for not giving my son more allowance even though he is going hungry at practice. She worked from age 16 onwards every summer and after she graduated, she picked up a job that she held throughout university. When I had my son, we never went over there to open presents. Got my GED at 17, got a job and took classes here and there and finally finished my bachelor's degree at 32. I could be a jerk since it is my job as a parent to do so when they insult people like she did This parent of this child is trying to skirt passed puberty talks with their child. My husband is also very competitive. She makes bad choices. We gave my MIL a key for emergencies and she used to stop by to do things in the house that she felt was “helping”. Turns out my daughter wanted a room makeover so this worked out. NTA Your daughter losing her allowance and not getting any candy is what's known as a natural consequence, and it teaches the lesson much better than arbitrary punishment. I'm definitely at fault for not making enough time for her these past few weeks due to excessive workload at my new job. Our son is 22 and our daughter is 26. AITA for giving my son ~$15,000 when he turned 18 and moved out, but refuse to give the same amount to my daughter? Not the A-hole My 19-year old daughter Vanessa called me this morning and told that her girlfriend proposed to her, and wants her to move to her apartment. Yeah, I only got an allowance ($200/month) after my sister, and I started doing college in high school, and I had to drive us everywhere. Both moved out and are successful in their careers. Just the idea of my son knowing that feeling is enough for me to say I commend SIL for handling it as calmly as she did. she is not entitled to money and 2. Subreddit Announcement AITA for not punishing my daughter for how she rejected an autistic kid. ETA: I've decided to give my daughter an opportunity to earn the car by getting good grades freshman year. We have given them over the last few years about $10,000, my MIL $70,000, don’t know what her two brothers had given them, ex husband as well, although he has totally disowned them now. I was about one week away from giving birth to my first child. That is not relevant knowledge that the daughter need. So this allowance we're giving them is out of our kindness, not necessity. My son is like my ex-wife (popular and materialistic). And it won't ruin his life. Posted by u/buthba - 3 votes and 49 comments Precisely. If you die or lose interest in her, her circumstances could rapidly deteriorate. 2. AITA for not telling my daughter I'm proud of her, but being proud of my son? upvote AITA for not giving my sister her wedding dress because she didn't invited my underage son? How do you allow your children to be abused like that. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I may be TA because Bianca’s parents might be evicted as both don’t have jobs, and because I didn’t put as much thought into my sons anxiety as they did, and now I’m Nope nta. He was pretty much the only one in my family who gave a damn about me as a person. Agree with this 100%. I comforted and encouraged him while he cried against my huge belly. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I have three children: Mary (23F), Fiona (19F) and Jacob (7M). Point being that El could have made better choices but While we did grow apart once she got married, she still is my sister. If his income is included, then the debt to income on the revolving debt might not be above 50%. He died four months after my oldest daughter died of trisomy 18. I don’t know why it’s escalated so much. I called my daughter and gave her a heads up the my son and family would be at the pool. I could be a jerk since I gave a huge gift to her and the other kids didn’t get anything Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I took my son for my parenting time but did not take my half brother who was ready and wanting to come to my house too. She believes we should take our daughter's words at face value and assume she no longer wants the money. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I may be an asshole for not sharing the inheritance with my sibling because they did go through hardship with having my dad as a father, my dad wasn't the best dad and I couldn’t wait to give it to her. so with this I cant also pay for my other daughters prom dress and all that. In short it took me 4 years to spend it Later, my son majored in Math at Georgia Tech, and he's now in grad school elsewhere. your horribly devastated wife’s situation being made significantly more difficult with having to be out of her home while trying to grieve and handle an estate. Or you can offer to give them allowance if they do more than just their normal chores, go above and beyond. Only my daughter did, and now my son and family are mad that I'm not giving him more money and favoring my daughter. A couple of months ago I lost my job, and she wanted something, I told her I was unemployed and because I made some poor financial decisions I was broke, and she didn't care, she wanted a gift and because I couldnt give her anything at the time, she simply stopped talking to me, not only that, my sister scolded me about it and even told me we "AITA for not giving my daughter a car for her 16th birthday and cutting her off financially?" I (48m) have a daughter Lisa (15f) from my first marriage. I was married for 9 years to my ex-wife. One last thing - his children do not have the same right to the I give my kids more allowance money if they get higher grades. She bought a house in July. He was allowed to meet my son's kids first, hold them first, and he was allowed to walk my other son (his gay) down the aisle when I was the one that did all the raising. It never works, in my limited experience, to just quit and follow your dream. Don't give away her money because stepfather and ex wife didn't plan accordingly. My daughter(13f) and stays with her father, my ex (55m) every weekend and holiday and he and his family give her about $100 every week. Her family is not your problem. Not for wanting to give your child an allowance but for substantially changing the terms of a gift and offering it to your adult child without clearing it with your spouse. My younger son got a great internship at a corporation straight out of high school, which he's done 2 more There it is. Some bank in my country actually allow the parents to withdraw/ deposit money from the child account without their consent. I believe she didn't really have anything to do with my parents behavior and I'm very thankful for that. For context, my wife has always had a strained relationship with my daughter and did not approve of many of her life choices. No matter how bad I was, my daughter always came first. And I have it better than most everyone else there. Every payday i gave my mom half of my salary and the other half i make it work for rent, food allowance and fair going to work. Also, my kid would have murdered me in my sleep had I ever stepped in with her coach on her behalf. Anyway, my parents still very much think I'm a asshole and a ungrateful child. He's done this with the two previous girlfriends he had as well. His son accepted me just fine, we managed to create an amazing blended family, if not for the fact that Lana wasn’t a fan of the idea. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I understand prioritizing a child in difficult situations, but this is a case of a minor inconvenience for the son, who can still do his online school anywhere and gets a fun bonus of hanging out with his cousin, vs. has to learn the value of money properly. They don't try with me and put their father before me, so I don't see the point of doing that, knowing I'll be second to him. When we turn into adults we have to learn responsibility. After my ex and I divorced, my son woke up Christmas morning with me to open presents, then went back to his dad to spend the rest of Christmas AITA for not attending my daughters 18 birthday because my step daughter was giving birth. I gave birth to my child 6 days ago, and she could not be more healthy. recently, she kept talking about how her bag is getting old and she been eyeing on a new bag for a long I was basically treated like I was a bad person for not believing my brother has magically became a different person in adulthood. I am not a dad to give you my full opinion about it but i think you should try to buy him the bike ASAP, good luck, long live dads! ️ My son, Junior (17m), is furious that Alex went behind our backs and doesn't care why she did it and blames her for them being "stuck with" a half sibling he doesn't want. however, since i started working mid june, we both agreed that i dont have to give her allowance from my june salary. And her coaches would've been her accomplices. I regret bringing my second wife and the child here instead of my First wife and my 4 children. as it’s going to work out as less effort for him - he doesn’t need to respond and set up a transfer every Also a note, college costs can be drastically different now. All they could do is just tell lies like my son is currently 'out of town' and had requested me to withdraw money for him. My son is a senior and we are going through the college choices. I'm 47 if my daughter starts talking about how I'm old a just give up my things now because I'm almost dead and should start acting like an old woman from stereotypes 1900, I would embarrasse her Infront of her friends so hard by 'not acting my age' she wouldn't know where to bury herself 😆😝. Both girls love ballet, and having them at the same school was great. Both my parents made 120k each while living in the states for almost 20 years. Sounds like if she goes to work, he takes everything and doles it out as he sees fit. For example, while my parents gave my siblings laptops once they got to high-school, I needed to buy my own. One house is our main house, the other house is still getting paid off. I understand that you can’t afford a house where you’re living, but for the sake of these kids (the The gated community comes with a beautiful pool that my daughter and her husband use all the time. She’s also very competitive. So maybe Mom was thinking about all the time / money / effort she dropped on her daughter's athletic career? Still seems kinda harsh, though. I pay all of her bills, give her an allowance, allow her to use a car that's in my My daughter Vienna has about $2800 in savings. I did the same thing with my older son, and he got his own job at the local pool. This is a downgrade for her so my son wouldn't have to share a room with this younger sister. I also told them how disrespectful I thought they were for giving me a list when they rely on my husband and I for support. Then she got pregnant for a third time which came as a surprise. All in all, I thought everything was great and I was excited for my daughter to have a sibling as she's always wanted one but I had no interest in having another child. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Three days ago my friend and his girlfriend had a daughter, they asked me to bring my daughter to the hospital to meet her little sister yesterday alongside others of the family. OP is NTA for not being proud Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I 35 female am engaged to my fiancé Brian 37 male. My daughter started off this vacation by telling my husband there was sudoku on the plane and explaining how to play. 3K votes, 458 comments. Early ETA: I did keep asking him to try again throughout the years. Not wanting her to work, and not wanting to give her a meager allowance, both stem from the same thought - control. So like a lot of people I am not in a good financial position. I was always very firm that his mom would NOT get a key to my home. 2K votes, 4K comments. We give the kids allowance and allowed them to get a work permit. This friend is my best friend's son. I’m not on particularly good terms with her mother, and Lisa unfortunately became an outlet for her resentment towards me, which ended up souring our relationship massively. My husband, daughter (15), step kids (13, 16), and I just came back from a 2 week vacation. One son (17M) and one daughter (16F), both still in high school. We have a family heirloom that’s ran in the family for generations, a flower charm, my great great grandfather welded it for my great grandma as a AITA(48m) for giving my son(19m) and my daughter(18f) an equal amount of money for college even though my son received a full ride scholarship for college Middle went to a private school on a small athletic scholarship and has some but not much debt from the overage. But just a couple a days ago, We found out that my daughter in law had given birth 2 weeks ago and no one knew about it. So, strangers of the Internet, am I the asshole for not letting my daughter get the room she wanted? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. 5 GPA scored in the top 1% on his tests, was a 2 sport athlete all 4 years of HS, volunteered, was a leader in clubs, is an amputee, and got $0 in Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. And she knows it. It's not like I'm abusing them or anything. I don’t think Y-T-A for not giving them an allowance, but you are for not giving them any pocket money. TALK TO HER!!! And give her alone time with you! Basically you are saying to her: "Now I got my real child with my real wife and don't want you around anymore". Also, I'm not allowed to carry over any days year-to-year. He has the $$ control in the relationship. TLDR: My daughter is more like me (a geek). Pets are not things to use to "teach your children responsibility". Her cake cost around 200, she has three outfits getting handmade, personal planner and decorations, etc. They can’t exactly get jobs right now with everything going on. I'm sorry I called you a horrible daughter. It's not fair to punish the pet just because you want to punish your child for not being responsible. My own sister is to become guardian of my daughter if anything should happen to me. He’s mean, demanding, and extremely manipulative. We’ve been together 2 years. I'm sorry I blamed my embarrassment on you, and not on my own actions where the blame squarely lies. Like the police care about this. He loves art and has been working on a painting of a winter landscape. He has his own provisions in my will, but he's quite aware that the house goes to his sister. No sick days. But he always tried to help me. Our son we gave a few different gifts totaling somewhere around $800. wouldn’t he jump at the chance of an allowance. My daughter is very smart and is very good at a lot of things. I saw both their experiences and took a third path: academic scholarships As for the possibility of my stepmother calling the CPS, when my husband went to get the rest of our belongings, five days ago, along with my brothers-in-law and father-in-law, my stepmother said that stealing her baby would not go unpunished, and that she would show it to everyone world that the two of us weren't good parents, and that we were My son is 8 years old and recently attended his friend's 8th birthday party. I made it clear I would help both of them Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. zgi vlcc ybyf dcufzzt ffot nvf jhcveb bqnmfhbl rojqgdnp tjsvng